Interview: Amy Richau on Star Wars, Love & Relationships

Many of the stories that we love have more depth than we realize, including Star Wars. Amy Richau discusses examples of love and relationships in the Star Wars universe and how they represent different scenarios in our daily lives.

The words "I love you, I know" have become iconic in the Star Wars fandom and are among the most famous quotes about relationships. You can now find people showcasing those very words in a variety of ways, including t-shirts, hats, and even Valentine's day cards!

Most importantly, you can find it as the main title of the book ( I Love You, I Know: Lessons in Love and Friendship) written by Amy, a Star Wars fan and writer for starwars.com, Star Wars Insider, and 365starwars.com.

The idea for the book was from DK, the publisher. They released similar books to I Love You, I Know that take a small bit of text and an image and connect them to a real-life person or situation in your world. 

There are so many pairs in Star Wars, and the book could have been five times as long. This book is not something that you need to read from the beginning to the end or in one sitting - you can open it up to any page. Different people will connect with the book’s examples depending on their relationship with Star Wars or personal history.

These examples aren't limited to the movies. One of the chapters is about True Love, which covers quotes about love and relationships or moments from Clone Wars, Rebels, the prequels, Solo, and more.
Amy narrowed it down without watering it down.

While the publishers wanted it to be a film-heavy book, Amy pushed to include a little bit of animation. In the end, the publisher's goal for a film-focused book made it easier because Amy used the 11 movies to create a rough outline, taking at least one relationship from each to dissect.

From family to friendships, Amy sought to hit as many different relationships as possible, but admitted that she didn't even scratch the surface.

Still, certain relationships had to be included to avoid a fan uprising.

Therefore, the most recognizable thing is to put the "I love you, I know" front and center.

Han and Leia
The book opens with arguably the most famous, but maybe universally the most unique exchange in Star Wars, and that's Han and Leia's "I love you, I know." This interaction is used as an exploration to understand how two different people might express themselves, which is ironic considering that in the script, Han Solo was supposed to say, "I love you too." Instead, Harrison Ford thought it wasn’t how Han would express himself.

Their relationship, and a lot of really great relationships, aren't predictable, which is why this is such a famous quote about love and relationships. In short? It's relatable and real.

Han and Leia weren't alike. They challenged each other, which is one reason it was hard for them to stay together, but it also was one of the things that made them an epic love story. 

Darth Vader, Luke, Anakin and Padme
It's not just about romantic love and relationships. One of the lessons from The Empire Strikes Back is that you can't choose your family. What better example is there? When Vader tells Luke that he is his father and offers the chance to join him, the stage is set for understanding boundaries. 

There's a lot of tragedy in Star Wars, which makes this book so attractive because many relationships within these stories (romantic, familial, or platonic) don't or shouldn't work out. Everyone agrees that Padme was right to leave, but it didn't mean that she no longer loved Anakin. Similarly, Luke clearly loved his father, and their dialogue signaled the beginnings of redemption for Anakin.

This is one of the book's greatest strengths - it shows that even if relationships go wrong, that doesn't mean that there isn't love, even though that relationship wasn't meant to go on.

Anakin and Shmi
A great non-romantic relationship example is Anakin and his mother, Shmi. That challenging moment of someone going off to college, or having to let someone go to find their own path, comes a little sooner than usual, creating in-depth topics to explore.

Galen and Jyn
Also, under family relationships is the moment when Galen Erso tells Jyn Erso, "Whatever I do, I do to protect you." It’s a memorable quote about relationships between parent and child. This is showcased as an opportunity to look for understanding when talking about parental relationships. 

There are so many moments where you may not realize why loved ones, maybe it's parents or caretakers, do things a certain way. Jyn considered her father dead because she felt abandoned. After all, she knew he had gone to the Empire.

But as we get older, we start to see our parents more as people, rather than like parents or heroes. This example allows you to reflect on your relationship with your parent as it changes throughout life. Jyn wasn't blind to the choices Galen chose to make and didn’t agree with the choices that he made. She just chose to understand what she could and allowed herself to love him again.

Finn and Rey

One of the friendship stories that must be highlighted is between Finn and Rey.

"You looked at me like no one ever had." 

Before Rey, Finn was just this letter-number designation. That was his identity amongst a bunch of other people that were nothing more than letter-number designations. This statement's power is in the simple way that we can talk, treat, or even look at someone.

The trust they had in one another and the love they had for one another is an excellent part of their story. Rey was so touched when Chewbacca told her that it was Finn's idea to come to get her from Star Killer Base in The Force Awakens.

People don't focus so much on how the relationships between characters are so important to Star Wars because it's easy to get caught up in the Light and the Dark, the Force and the iconic battles. However, none of it would mean anything if you didn't care about the characters.

Princess Leia and Vice Admiral Holdo
In recent years, due to the tragic loss of Carrie Fisher, the fandom has been taking more time to understand how meaningful certain things were. They've started to share and discuss the impact that Carrie had on the community and Leia's importance as a character.

As the saga expands, Leia is essential, not only because of who she is and her romantic relationship with Han, but also because of her friendship with Vice Admiral Holdo. For many, this relationship was essential to see on display because it's rare to see female friendships shown on screen. 

Sometimes It's Just Complicated
A relationship isn't easy when it comes to Agent Kallus and Zeb. Still, the lesson is to be open to unlikely alliances.

Their scene features an all-time favorite quote, "Well, we didn't kill each other, so I guess we're friends now."

It's a small example of the chaotic nature of war. While stranded on a planet (one's an Imperial and the other a rebel), they call each other scum before realizing they needed each other at that moment. A lot of Kallus's growth happened off-screen, but because Zeb was such a gruff and blunt character, his acceptance of Kallus was the sign to the viewers that he'd transformed as a character. 

Enduring Love and Relationships
The book concludes with a chapter dedicated to enduring love.
 
It starts with two characters who appeared in all nine films, plus so many other stories in the Star Wars universe.

Of course, we're talking about C-3PO and R2-D2. 

Whether it's a friendship, a partner or even a coworker, people are going to annoy you. Sometimes you can focus on the things you don't like about someone or the things that annoy you. But these are the things that you would miss if they were no longer in your life. 

In the first movie, it seems like C-3PO is always complaining to him, even when they land on Tatooine. But on the flip side, you hear him tell Luke that R2-D2 is a perfect droid. When things go wrong, C-3PO is the first person who says he's willing to donate parts to make R2-D2 work again.
You can tell that no matter what kind of smack-talking, they really do care about each other and want to have their droid buddy with them.
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There's a lot more relationships and themes to get from the book - all from Star Wars. Hopefully, there's going to be much more to love about this year, but in the meantime, this book gives us a lot to discuss. 
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